Symptom number one

It's funny how I largely avoid serious topics in this blog. I might hint sometimes, but I don't really talk about anything close to useful. I don't think any strangers read this blog, but if they did they MIGHT assume I'm somewhat normal, which is erroneous.

For the rest of you, I thought I'd update you on my symptoms, because, as symptoms, they let you know the status of The Problem (though we're not sure what that is).

So, Symptom Numero Uno: hair-pulling. It is SN1 because it's the most obvious and I have trouble controlling it, even in public. I REFUSE to say that I can't control it, because I refuse to surrender to a bad habit. Anyway, I pull out the hairs that I feel don't belong on my head - they're coarse and wiry and stick out in weird directions. I don't like how they feel. They're easy to pick out, but I tend to pull out three or four innocent hairs with the bad ones. And then, because I have proof of bad ones, I go back in for more, fishing the same little pond until there's nothing left or until I wig out and sit on my hands.

Status: Still in progress, but the patch near my neck on the left side is growing back. I look like a bit like a late-80's skater with the shaved under, long on top look. But not really. I had a bad spell the other day while watching Mystic River. There was no one there to warn me not to watch it, which is a bloomin' shame. H-bomb couldn't know any better.

Prognosis: The problem with stopping the hair-pulling is that the bad hairs come back. And I feel like I have to take them out again. And right now the Resistance has reconvened, I just know it. I'm feeling antsy. Not a good sign. Imagine piles of hair on the floor to allay election anxiety.

Suggested treatment: I could play with my FOM pillow, but it makes me sad because KDawg gave it to me and it appears we're not talking. I sometimes paint my nails so I can scrape off the polish. Other good replacements: bubble wrap, removing stickers, tearing napkins, scraping wax.

I'm taking bubble wrap donations.