Meera and I discussed New Year's plans a few days ago and had pretty much nothing. Then Dancing and Joy came on the horizon. We weren't sure we were ready for or capable of Dancing and Joy. Turns out we were. Last night was very good... groovy music and a chill crowd, free food, free champagne...
Oh yeah, that's what I wanted to chronicle this morning when I woke up with my eyes swollen nearly shut... the history of my blossoming allergies.
July 1999, Somerville College, Oxford, UK: I am the first of our small class to seek out the college nurse because of swollen tongue, throat, eyes and hives after a night of pints in the college pub. Pints of BEER. I experiment cautiously over the next weeks and find that beer is the enemy, while hard cider, wine, liquor, turpentine and tea are sanctioned for consumption.
August 1999, The Biviano Ranch, El Victoir NY: Scratch chardonnay. Something my dad serves me causes instantaneous hives and tongue swelling. Eyes itch uncontrollably. He shoves benadryl into my mouth and everyone laughs nervously.
April 2001, Shane's Heart Party, Townhouses, St. Bonaventure University NY: But can you drink malt beverages, JoBiv? That's what we'd like to know... The resounding response - NO! And this was the weekend when God smote me by throwing me off a sidewalk as I shouted something about penis muffin pins. Imagine JoBiv with hives AND a sprained ankle.
October 2001, The Niland House, Mechant's Rd, Galway Ireland: So long, white zin! That's what I get for hanging out with other Americans. Lame.
February 14th? 2003, The Den of Iniquity, Somerville MA: Cranberry flavored cider shrinks the sinner in me for the night.
Fall 2003, The Other Den of Sometimes Iniquity, Brookline MA: Santa Joana, although a romantic choice, is the devil's vineyard. Red wine is now suspect.
Fall 2004, La Casa De Christi, Malden MA: Oh no... not hard cider, too! It's all I have! Oh god... how will I LIVE? But then again it might have been the gross mandarin liqueur...
December 31st 2004, Soul Revival, South End? MA: But... but... it was ONE glass of free champagne! And somehow the dye-free benadryl I found in my closet didn't kick in to full, or any, effect. Perhaps because its expiration date was Dec 02?
The New Year does make one nostalgic, does it not? Sigh. Time to go buy real benadryl. Maybe they'll hand it over for free when they see me comin'.
3 comments:
You lost hard cider? You're going to be left with odd potent potables concocted on obscure desert islands.
I'm actually not sure if I've lost hard cider. Tests are not yet conclusive. I will keep you posted. :) But I like the idea of potent potables, especially if I can drink them out of a gourd or coconut.
And then you can go on Jeopardy, since they always have a Potent Potables category, and then you can win lots of money, and then you can beat Ken Jennings's record, and then you can go on Letterman and Leno, and then you can remember poor little ol' me and come visit.
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