Friday, August 05, 2005

Cotton, go back from whence you came!

I haven't figured out how to work the TV in the new place yet, and therefore the JoBiv-Weather Channel umbilical cord has been severed. At first I felt a sense of freedom. One can step out into the day with the most scant knowledge of the weather and still survive. It's true! Up until yesterday, I had four lovely, though hot and humid days, despite my ignorance of the exact movements of all cloud cover for the Boston metro area.

Perhaps I was getting a little cocky.

This morning, I heard on the radio that we could see highs of 100 degrees today! Consider yourself warned, JoBiv! Taking advantage of a few extra usable morning minutes, I carefully selected a white polo shirt over black shirts (turns out I have seven black shirts) and exhanged crops and sneakers for a skirt and flip-flops. Having even more free moments, I filled a pitcher with water and visited each of the houseplants, proud of my forethought, imagining how parched and withered they would be on this hottest of hot days without my tender loving care. I refilled to water the plants on the deck, the porch, and Maurice, who currently guards the front steps.

"Here you go, Maury," I said aloud, for I am not shy around my plants, "Drink up! You'll need it."

Silly Jo. I should have looked at my white shirt and thought, "Hmm. What happened the last time I wore you? Ah, yes! A deluge! And the time before that? Hurricane. Perhaps I will wear a black shirt after all."

I did not think that. I wore the white shirt.

The heavens opened over me.

JOHANNA, YOU THINK YOU ARE SO SMART, LIVING WITHOUT THE WEATHER CHANNEL, GOING HITHER AND THITHER IN WHITE SHIRTS AND PREMEDITATIVELY WATERING PLANTS! ::SPLOOSH::

If any one of you, my few and dear readers, live in a particularly arid region, happen to be caught in a prolonged drought, or would like to experience a spontaneous wet t-shirt contest, send me your address. In return, I will send you this magic shirt, free of charge! I'll even pay shipping! GOOD GOD SOMEONE TAKE IT!

And poor Maurice without his swimmies.

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