Tom and Sara drove me to the airport. Sara got out because Tom's new car is a coupe - she gave me a hug on her way to the front seat. I didn't think Tom would get out, but he did. He walked around the car to give me a hug.
"Have a good trip, Jo."
"I will. Thanks for driving me." Still hugging me...
"It was good to see you." Let go. Let go.
"Good to see you, too." He lets go, I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder.
He hugs me again. "We'll see you soon, I hope."
"Yeah." Let go. Let go. "Maybe Christmas."
It's funny how it works. Smacks and Cripps have this hero worship for Tom, wanting so badly to fit into his life somehow, to understand him, to draw him closer. And Tom... I just got it today. Tom needs my approval. He needs SOMEthing from me, and this huge discomfort I feel comes from the onus of that need. Is it a kind of hero worship?
More likely it's the same desperation I feel. How can this family be so... unseaworthy? What the hell can any of us do to fix it?
And why am I so unwilling?
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