Thursday, July 14, 2005

Habits

Every day, Pea and I pass mirrors. Sometimes I'm holding her, sometimes she's walking and gripping my fingers, sometimes we're strolling. Every time, I m make eye contact with her and she laughs and laughs, or smiles at her reflection and reaches to touch it. And in those moments I don't want to look away from her, fearing that I'll accidentally see myself. When I do, I quickly shoot my gaze back down to her, and try not to say it out loud, but I think it every time: Don't grow up like I did, Pea. Don't be like me.

Most days I don't even notice this happening. I need to notice, and I need to stop it.

2 comments:

Eunice Burns said...

I don't necessarily want Lil Pea to grow up like you did, but she would be lucky to grow up and be like you, JoBiv. Incredibly lucky.

And don't discount yourself because you have flaws like everyone else. You're an incredible person, JoBiv, and I feel lucky to have you in my life.

Cue the angels singing.

: )

Anonymous said...

Hey Johanna,

Just give me some indication you know I'm alive....like a color a song title...a hiney or two....
or not.....last call.....