Friday, February 18, 2005

I hate crossing guards

It seems irrational to you, maybe. Every time I turn a corner or approach an intersection and see that orange-striped vest, my breath quickens and my hands clench. I want to deck him one. In the face. And scream, "I CAN CROSS THE GODDAMN ROAD BY MYSELF, PUNK!"

Yes, yes, I know he's there for the little schoolchildren, and I like little schoolchildren and feel a certain amount of concern for their safety whilst crossing busy streets. But I do NOT like talking about the goddamn weather (as though we're not standing OUTSIDE in the OPEN GODDAMN AIR and can all feel the goddamn obvious goddamn weather equally), especially not at 7 EFFIN' 45 in the goddamn morning!!!

I bet crossing guards don't know that they're an inconvenience to anyone, but when I see one or get to know their haunts I end up taking these ridiculous circuitous routes to reach my destination, thereby lengthening my travel time by many precious minutes and enraging me further...

I FRIGGIN' HATE 'EM!

Have a great long weekend, everybody! Gee, I know I will.

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