Things The Novelist never liked about me:
1. spinach
2. exercise
3. family
4. outer space
5. the military
My inability to share an umbrella
My fluctuating ability to sleep (countered with incredible powers of tossy-turny, nightmare-induced fits)
The way I pointed out his eye boogers. At least I stopped trying to pick them out myself.
The way I hated myself.
The way I left his bed messy in the morning. His bed is impossible; old sheets, old mattress, egg-cup foam thing – all askew (see above referenced tossy-turny abilities)
My disdain for frozen vegetables.
My abundant social life. (I kid you not. I’M the social one.)
My untouchable subjects.
My tendency toward disappearance…
Things I never liked about The Novelist:
His fervent need to spread the joy of military history to ME, though repeatedly told of the unwillingness of his audience.
The great agility with which he dismissed my nightmares.
Things I really don’t like about The Novelist now:
His un-love for me.
1 comment:
1) Cats are mercurial to everyone. Somedays I love mine. Others, I want to throw them off the balcony.
2)Fear of Outer space? Better get over it...it's our only shot.
3) I wish you wouldnt hate yourself. You're one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever encountered. I've never met anyone before or since who could simply will me to laugh how you could.
4) Always leave your bed messy in the morning. You're just going to fuck it up when you crawl into bed anyway. What's the point, unless you're expecting company?
5) Sorry, I gotta stick with him on this one. Those egg-foam things can change your life.
6)Anytime I hear (or read) the word "untouchable" I think of your dad, and how easily I could have been killed the night of prom. I'm not kidding.
7) Fuck Jeff.
I've been here almost a year, and yet we still haven't hung out. God damnit, if you physically can't drink beer, what's wrong with Bourbon and Coke? Email me. Tonight. You need to hear the new plans.
I'm going into business for myself.
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