Remember my friend, Jack Sprat? Whelp, he's getting married this weekend and I'm going to NY to witness it.

He's getting married at Saint Bonaventure. This is the first time I've had to return to the campus since Shane's funeral. I think I'll take a walk around campus on Saturday, along the Allegany/Allegheny/Allegeny River. (Seriously, can't remember which one's the town, which one's the River, and which one's the mountains, but I'm pretty sure they're all spelled creatively.)

The back of the St. Bona's campus goes from athletic fields to woods to river. The woods have these amazing raised pathways and ancient trees, occasionally deer, occasionally bears, occasionally grottoes with crudely and sincerely made altars. It makes sense if you know anything about St. Francis and his love and respect for nature. I plan to walk through the woods and visit those places. I don't think God watches me... Well, I have trouble thinking of God... but I do get this sense of the trees and the river and grottoes opening for me, making room, allowing my presence.

I'll have to go down the river trail to the park, too, of course. Must have a ceremonial swing on the swingset. I won't escape Shane there. It's past time to let him catch up with me.

The Facts of Life

I haven't written for a full month.

My hours got cut at the preschool. I now work 2:30 to 6:00. My last paycheck: $47.71. Also, the Brookline classrooms shut down due to mold, mice, caving ceilings and other unfriendly building issues. I have an hour and fifteen minute commute to Watertown to work my 3.5 hours.

I have to go to a wedding on the 19th. My parents have to drive me there and pick me up.

I spent last weekend in NYC. I still don't like NYC. As we rode out on the Fung Wah, we passed a cemetery that went on forever. Most of it was full of tall statues and obelisks. The skyscrapers in the background seemed a cheap imitation.

I've been to three different beaches this summer, three pools, and one pond. I'd forgotten how my body feels when it's suspended by water. Actually, I'd forgotten my body entirely.

A few weeks ago I put aside all the ripped, stained, or otherwise unusable clothing from my dresser and closet. A fourth of my wardrobe remains.

Last night The Novelist and I had dinner with English Jo in Harvard Square. After dinner we walked toward the sound of music. It was a brass ensemble, playing intricate classical pieces, ragtime, jazz... It suddenly felt like I was on vacation.

Within two weeks, I've had a stomach bug, a sinus infection, an ear infection, and back spasms.

Vicious nightmares.